You see I think that (and myself included) everyone is living for tomorrow. We're living for the high school graduation, the start of college. Then we're living for the degree, the job, the marriage, the house & small versions of ourselves to fill it up.
And to me, it's a problem.
I don't want to live for tomorrow because in all honesty, it really truly doesn't ever come.
In 9 days (eek!!!) Preston and I will be together for TWO years. TWO. Which to the people who have been together for 8 or 15 they probably roll their eyes like "wow you are so naive" but that's 730 days of loving each other and handling a lot of ups and downs.
But you see, people started asking us "when do you think you'll get engaged?" like 6 months into our relationship, and it planted this seed that grew into this anxiety to take the next step. I do really want to be Preston's wife don't get me wrong, but right now our relationship is building a foundation that will be exceptional. And if you know my girl Rachel Hollis, she emphasizes how important and capable it is to have an exceptional marriage.... ya'll I want that.
But in order to have that, I have to do my time now.
I want to be his fiance, and I want to be his wife. But right now, I need to focus on being the absolute best girlfriend I can be. Wanna know why?
Because I will. never .be. a .girlfriend .again.
Um YAS sister, when he asks me to marry him with the ring and the knee thing, that's it BAM! POOF! No more girlfriend status for me. I will be a fiance. Then guess what? I will need to focus on being a super cool fiance before I am a wife because when I walk down the aisle looking like Gigi Hadid (hehe) I will never be a fiance again. AND THEN GUESS WHAT!? Someday we're going to be in a hospital and I'm going to be screaming and probably hating him for putting a basketball inside me, and we will have a baby and then I will be a mom and I will never be only his wife, I will be the mother of his kids too.
Do you get what I am trying to say here?!
We are always always always ready for the "what's next?" season. To the point that we're not even appreciating the phase of life that God is blessing us with right now.
Be a good girlfriend. Do cute small things, kiss him, show off, focus on building a good relationship with him and with God.
Then go be a good fiance. Plan the wedding, ask his opinions, be graceful, talk about your faith and marriage expectations.
Then go be a good wife. Travel, don't fight over bills, laugh together, talk about how your marriage is fulfilling your lives.
Then go be a good mom. Love your husband, love your kids, and teach them about faith and being tough and talk over pizza rolls when you're too lazy to cook.
But be present in all of those stages of life. Someday when you're washing dishes and your kids are playing on their phones or heaven knows what version of technology on the couch, you'll think about the days where it was just you and your husband and guess what?! You'll probably wish you would've loved those moments a little more.
I want to look back in a year or two from now when I am planning my wedding (hopefully by then lol) and smile at the fact that I chose to love this phase of life with my man. Then when we're married I hope we laugh about how dorky we were when we thought dating was so legit and acknowledged every month we celebrated. And when we're a mommy and daddy to small children, I hope we are thankful at how intentional we were with our time when it was just him and I so that we are the parent's we could've only ever dreamt of being.
Friend, be intentional. Love this season of life. Stop rushing through and trying to tick boxes off. Live for today, not for tomorrow. Be a good _______ .